Man, it's tough to look away from runaway egos. And arm curls.

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One question we get a lot about our talent farm is, "What the hell are you doing with them?" We think the better question is, "What are we NOT doing with them?"

I believe that a brand's future doesn't belong to marketers, it belongs to the people. Sure, this belief smells of bullshit because we've seen it a million times in a million blended mission statements. How Pixel Farm is different is we're practicing what we preach.

We are a people company.

Hydra 9 is our creative approach to staying true to this promise. With it, we empower a new generation of thinking people (9) from outside of advertising with the same opportunities that seasoned ad guys have to drive brands. We do this without all of the "rational" ad rules (heck, we hardly have any rules, except one, connect creativity to real people).

In this TED talk, child prodigy Adora Svitak says the world needs "childish" thinking: bold ideas, wild creativity and especially optimism. Kids' big dreams deserve high expectations, she says, starting with adults' willingness to learn from children as much as to teach. As you watch, just remove "adults" and insert "advertising shitbergs" and you'll start to see why Hydra 9 is important to us.

In this spot for ExtenZe wee wee magic pills, a widescreen TV is almost necessary to showcase all the shitberging that goes on between ex NFL coach Jimmy Johnson and I-don't-even-care-who NASCAR driver.

Shame on you, Columbia Pictures. Since Gigli and Ghost Rider didn't do enough harm to our cultural sensibilities, you went a step further and cashed in on a pop culture icon. I bet you their angle is "introduce a new generation to good role models." Or in shitberg-free translation, "Cha-ching." And shame on you, Jackie Chan. You're better than this. But you'll never be better than Pat Morita as Miyagi.

You are a class act, Conan. Way to set the pace for the rest of us. 3:53

I retired. I regretted. I entertained offers from other networks, scaring the shit out of NBC, forcing them to offer me a primetime shitberg show. No one watched. Oops. Hey Conan, gimme back. Now scram.

Classic. This guy is like the Everest of shitbergs.

The answer should always be - not you.

I teach ad class from time to time and one of the things I try to impress on my students is the importance of effort and authenticity. Of course, you can't teach a lesson to smart, creative and indifferent neer-do-wells if you use words like "effort" and "authenticity"

...and "neer-do-wells".

So I try to keep it real and tell them what they need to know. And it starts with the shitbergs...

So you know about icebergs, right? How there's a tip of ice visible above the water, but so much more ice underneath? Now picture a person you meet and then realize they are full of shit. Then after a span of time, you get to know them better, and you realize they are even more full of shit than you originally thought.

That's a shitberg. And unfortunately, advertising is full of them. Do you know why?

Shhh.... secret. It's because If you don't try your best while pushing and helping the people around you to solve the problem in an authentic and creatively engaging way that actually connects with real people... well... then advertising is actually an easy gig to never really have to work in. But that compromise comes at a price.

The shit collects on laziness and eventually turns it into fear. The fear oozes and spreads. Then one day, you can't wash the smell of shit off you.  "and there's nothing worst than too late." - Bukowski

But don't be afraid, don't ever be afraid. Because there are a few things you can do to avoid it:

1) Work your ass off and make things. Make a lot of different things. Make money to make things. Make reasons to make things. Because most shitbergs never will. So within a couple of years of pushing it, you should pass most of them in value and experience.

2) Be honest. But don't be a judgemental prick. If we're idea people, then stop loving your dead babies. You should be a factory with a thousand more ideas waiting behind that dead one. But don't be a jerk when you're killing somebody else's baby either. (You know why.) Luckily, shitbergs usually only have one idea and they most likely five-finger-discounted it from someone else.

3) Remember you're in the class of 3010. Never stop learning. Shitbergs stopped learning the moment they realized how to succeed without it.